Find a Sexuality Therapist

What sexuality means and how it can affect your life

Sexuality is a broad part of who you are. It includes biological factors, gender identity, sexual orientation, emotional attraction, desire patterns, values, and the ways you express intimacy. Because sexuality touches identity and relationships, it can influence your sense of self, your communication with partners, your overall well-being, and how you experience pleasure and connection. Cultural messages, past experiences, health concerns, and stressors can all shape how you feel about your sexuality at different stages of life.

Challenges related to sexuality are common and can take many shapes. You might notice changes in desire, anxiety about sexual performance, difficulty communicating about needs with a partner, questions about orientation or identity, or distress after sexual trauma. Some people grapple with compulsive sexual behaviors or feel out of step with social or cultural expectations. Whatever the source, concerns about sexuality are valid reasons to seek support because they often intersect with intimacy, mood, and everyday functioning.

Signs you might benefit from therapy for sexuality

You may consider therapy when sexual concerns are causing ongoing distress or affecting your relationships. If sexual difficulties consistently reduce your enjoyment of sex, lead to arguments with a partner, or make you avoid intimacy, therapy can help you explore causes and options. When questions about orientation or identity cause confusion or fear, working with a clinician can provide a structured, nonjudgmental space to explore feelings and next steps. If past sexual trauma continues to impact your ability to trust, feel safe in relationships, or enjoy sexual activity, a trauma-informed therapist can help you process those experiences.

Other signs that therapy might help include persistent shame or guilt around sexual feelings, patterns of risky or compulsive sexual behavior that you want to change, pain during sex that has psychological components, or a mismatch of sexual desire between partners that creates ongoing conflict. You may also seek therapy if you want to deepen intimacy, improve communication about needs and boundaries, or learn how to navigate relationship transitions such as non-monogamy, gender transition, or changes in health that affect sexuality.

What to expect in sexuality-focused therapy

In an initial session, a therapist typically gathers history to understand your concerns, goals, and any relevant medical or relational context. You can expect questions about your sexual history, relationship patterns, current symptoms, and what you hope to achieve. The early phase is often about building rapport, clarifying priorities, and setting realistic goals. Therapists aim to create a respectful, nonjudgmental process so you feel comfortable sharing personal material at your own pace.

Over subsequent sessions, therapy may involve education about sexual response and arousal, skill-building around communication and consent, and exercises to increase awareness of sensations and desire. If you are working with a partner, you may do joint sessions to practice new interaction patterns and resolve conflicts. Homework assignments are common - they might include communication exercises, tracking patterns, or guided experiential tasks. If trauma is present, a trauma-informed approach will be used with attention to pacing and safety. Throughout therapy, you and your therapist will adjust the plan as your needs change.

Common therapeutic approaches used for sexuality

Therapists draw from several evidence-informed approaches when working with sexual concerns. Cognitive-behavioral techniques help you identify unhelpful thoughts and behaviors that interfere with desire or performance and replace them with more adaptive patterns. Sex therapy focuses specifically on sexual response, intimacy, and practical strategies such as sensate focus exercises that encourage mindful touch and reconnection without pressure. Couples therapy addresses relational dynamics that influence sexual life, helping partners improve communication, rebuild trust, and negotiate differences in desire.

Trauma-informed therapies attend to the impact of past sexual trauma on current functioning, offering grounding skills, emotional regulation, and gradual processing when appropriate. Humanistic and experiential approaches emphasize acceptance, self-exploration, and reclaiming pleasure. Many clinicians also use an affirming, sex-positive stance that recognizes diverse sexual identities and practices, and they tailor interventions to cultural and personal values so that therapy aligns with your goals.

How online therapy works for sexuality

Online therapy can be an accessible way to address sexual concerns from home or another setting where you feel comfortable. Sessions usually take place via encrypted video or text-based messaging offered by clinicians, and you can schedule appointments that fit your routine. Online work allows you to connect with therapists who specialize in sexuality who might not be available locally, including clinicians experienced with LGBTQ+ issues, kink-aware care, or specific approaches you prefer. You can discuss practical matters such as session length, fees, and policies before beginning so you know what to expect.

When seeking online therapy for sexual matters, consider how you will create a comfortable setting for sessions, particularly when discussing intimate topics. You may need headphones and a closed room or a time when others will not interrupt. Some exercises may be adapted for remote work, and therapists will discuss what can be safely and effectively done online versus what might require an in-person visit or referral to a medical professional for physical evaluation. If you have a medical concern that could be affecting sexual function, your therapist can offer guidance about when to involve a healthcare provider.

Tips for choosing the right therapist for sexuality

Finding the right clinician is a personal process. Start by looking for a licensed mental health professional with training or experience in sexuality or sex therapy. Many therapists list specialties, training, and populations they work with in their profiles. It is important to choose someone who expresses respect for your identity and values and who has experience with the specific concerns you bring, whether that involves trauma, nontraditional relationship structures, gender transition, or sexual functioning issues.

Reach out for an initial consultation to get a sense of whether you feel comfortable with the therapist's style and approach. Ask about their experience with issues like yours, their theoretical orientation, and what a typical course of therapy looks like. Inquire about practical details such as session length, fees, cancellation policy, and whether they provide teletherapy. Pay attention to how the therapist responds to your questions - you should feel heard and not rushed. It is also reasonable to ask about their approach to partner work or medical referrals when needed.

Trust your instincts. If a therapist's demeanor or approach does not feel like a good fit, you can try another clinician. Therapy often works best when you feel safe to explore sensitive topics and when the therapist demonstrates both competence and respect for your boundaries. Over time you and your therapist can refine goals and approaches as you learn what helps most.

Moving forward

Seeking help for sexuality-related concerns is a proactive step toward greater well-being and more satisfying relationships. Whether you want to resolve distressing symptoms, explore your identity, improve communication with a partner, or reclaim pleasure after difficult experiences, a trained therapist can provide guidance, tools, and emotional support. Start by reviewing profiles on this page, reach out for an introductory conversation, and choose a clinician who aligns with your needs and values. With the right support, you can develop the skills and understanding to navigate sexual concerns with more confidence and ease.